NECROPHILES IN MOTION: THIS WEEK’S ROUND-UP OF FRANKEN-NARRATIVES AND FRANKEN-FRANCHISES…

After last week’s daunting record of disinterment, I thought things might quiet down at the narrative necrophilia lab, but no…The mad ENTERTAINMENT NARRATIVE SCIENTISTS have been pulling down double shifts, and here’s what they’ve brewed up this week:

You want ROBIN HOOD back? Have ROBIN HOOD back. In fact, have FOUR OF THEM. That’s right. There’s no FEWER than 4 individual ROBIN HOOD projects in varied stages of development. Mind you the last ROBIN HOOD (that is Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood) was clearly ripe for REBOOT: It came out in 2010.

Remember how much you loved GALAXY QUEST? I did. For real, I LOVED IT. When it was under 2 hours. Well guess what: Now you get to see what it looks like as a SERIES. Paramount is rifling through it’s cemetery (I MEAN BACK-CATALOG) like there’s going to be a flood and the bodies are going to rise. Here’s a list of the other shows from the PARAMOUNT BACK-CATALOG also in development as TV SERIES: School of Rock, Shooter, Shutter Island, and Minority Report.

And that list reminds me of two of my earlier posts (self-promotion break), and I paraphrase myself; TV is going through the same COLLAPSE as FILM, and trying to figure out a DURATION problem, and leaning on old content, to see if just MAKING IT LONGER will somehow fend off the inevitable.

And speaking of DIGGING UP THE DEAD: Remember Full House? Sure you do. IT’S COMING BACK TOO ON NETFLIX. And the CEO of NETFLIX, REED HASTINGS, is sure talking a TON OF SMACK — about the purported end of LINEAR TV that his company is spearheading — for a GUY WHO JUST GREEN-LIGHTED the fucking FULL HOUSE REUNION.

You know AGENTS OF SHIELD. Good. Hope you like it — Cause you’re getting another one. Marvel is sure stacking the TV DECK: We’ve got AGENT CARTER, AGENTS OF SHIELD, DAREDEVIL. And on NETFLIX we’ve got DAREDEVIL (already noted), LUKE CAGE, IRON FIST, plus a DEFENDERS miniseries. Additionally, as I already noted: John Ridley is working on an ABC show being kept under the wraps.

TRANSFORMERS 5 is coming and there’s a “Strategic Plan” for the EXPANDING UNIVERSE. AKIVA GOLDSMAN has put together a brain trust/writer’s room to outline where the franchise goes from here…Since it’s already been to HELL, I hope they have more imagination than me…

And our last UNWANTED RESUSCITATION: The SYFY channel has hired WES CRAVEN to adapt his own film “THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS“. Remember that classic? Probably not, but like everything else already committed to FILM AND TV, it can be dug up and MADE LONGER…

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